Oh Romeo, Oh Romeo!
by Wrath of Athena
Summary: When Hotaru, Yuu & Ruka realized that Natsume & Mikan were missing...they wondered...where did those two go? Little did they know that the two are actually just around the corner, squatting next to each other, & doing something they never expected...NxMxR


_Mikan & Natsume were missing, & their friends were left wondering where they ran off to. When they showed up in an embarrassing & suggestive position…everybody thought it was an accident…but some accidents don't just happen, but rather, meant to be. _

**Disclaimer: GAKUEN ** **ALICE****. NOT MINE. **

**Author's Notes: **NxM one-shot. Spin-off. **Contains perverted scenes that may most likely blind you.** When I woke up this morning, I was feeling really bad that I didn't clean up this fic. It's just not fair you guys…so I revised it. I'm really sorry. XD I also decided to change the title to a more interesting one. Gomen ne. Hope you like this and do enjoy your day. To all those who read this before, it's formerly entitled 'A Planned Accident'….I just changed the title. I swear this will be the last time I'll make unedited spin-offs. XD

**Final Revision: ** **January 7, 2007** (Added more description.)

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**Oh Romeo, Oh Romeo! **

Genre: Romance / Humor

Written By: WizdomGoddess

o------------------------------------------------------O

Imagine him as a parrot ---- a big fat yapping red-eyed mutant parrot flapping its wings violently.

Perhaps if Mikan pictured him looking like a parrot, she won't be as annoyed as she was.

But this parrot was really persistent, and keeps going on and on and on…

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this."

"Shhh! Be quiet Natsume!" Mikan hissed. "Thanks for helping out but we'll be busted if you keep on complaining like this."

"You're the one whining every time I get close to you," Natsume snorted.

Mikan glared dangerously. "You're not exactly someone I can trust with that sort of thing, pervert."

"We're cramped here with barely enough oxygen. What can you expect?"

"I still don't trust you!"

"Oh? Then why the heck did you ask me to be here with you, moron?"

"I can't help it! Hotaru refused, Yuu said he had to meet up with Nonoko, and Ruka wanted to buy something for Youichi! So he told me to ask you!"

"You asked Ruka? So you trust Ruka more than me?"

Suffocating silence.

"That's not it!" she wailed, obviously frustrated from the way the conversation was going. "Ugh, it's useless talking to you!"

"You shouldn't have asked me if you don't like talking to me, idiot." Natsume said, briskly looking away.

For a minute there, Mikan felt an uncomfortable air nag her whole left side where Natsume was stationed.

She flipped to her side, cheeks brushing against foreign skin. She had forgotten his arm was bent and pressed against a wall of plywood blocking their front and the moment their skin touched, her stomach lurched. Natsume looked away, as if doing so will make her disappear.

She pressed her lips together.

Why was he behaving distantly? Did she say something wrong?

She thought some more. He suddenly became cold when she mentioned Ruka, and a theory materialized.

Was Natsume jealous?

_No way! _

Staring at the grotesque golden snippets fastened at the rim of his ear, she brought a hand to her chin and stroked it with her thumb.

"Are you sulking because you're jealous?"

This seemed to have a great effect on him, and his eyes slowly trained towards her.

"No." he stated.

"You are!"

"I said no."

"Whatever you say." she quipped, a grin forming.

So the ferocious 'adult-like' Natsume Hyuuga can be childish in his own way after all. She dismissed the possibility that he liked her, which she thought was unlikely. Who cares who this stubborn boy would like anyway? "Let's move on to business!"

"Coming from you it doesn't sound right."

"Natsume! Stop teasing me."

"Whatever. Stop babbling and let's get this over with."

o------------------------------------------------------O

Yuu stood amid the live crowd, intoxicated by the blatant odor of humanity bristling their way across the streets.

He dodged his way through, occasionally spewing out apologies each time he bumped into someone. He reached the perimeter of a reserved area which was enclosed in a long winding rope attached to several stands.

At the center of the area, beneath a large tree, was a group of toddlers sprawled in front of a mini stage. Behind the group were his classmates, occupying the vicinity closest to the trunk. He glanced at the stage once more. A signboard was fixed next to it which read:

_Romeo and Juliet: The Puppet Show! Directed and arranged by: Mr. Narumi _

Beside the sign was Hotaru, peacefully eating a gigantic crepe. He pulled up the rope that blocked his way, entered the area and immediately headed towards her. She turned, acknowledging his presence by waving her unfinished crepe.

"Hotaru, have you seen Mikan?" Yuu asked anxiously. "The show's about to start and she's nowhere to be found."

He looked around, expecting to see Mikan show up in her usual cheery mood.

But all he saw was their adviser Mr. Narumi handing out lollipops to the kids.

"No…I've been looking for her too. I did see her this morning with Ruka, but she suddenly disappeared." Hotaru replied, glancing at an incoming crowd of elementary students each holding a box of fluff puffs. She sighed. "Where did that idiot go now? That girl always causes so much trouble."

She spotted a familiar blonde boy a few feet away, and he looked equally anguished. He was successfully ignoring some dreamy-eyed girls vying for his attention.

"Hey Ruka, have you seen Mikan?!" Hotaru called out, earning her the full attention of the boy and peeved looks from his frustrated admirers. In telepathic agreement with Ruka, the two snubbed their existence and Hotaru casually signaled him to come over.

Ruka approached, regarding them with a mixture of relief and apprehension.

"No. Have you seen Natsume?"

Yuu blinked. "What? Natsume's missing too?"

Ruka looked so pathetic lurking around Natsume-less, Hotaru thought. She might as well try to put some color in his life.

"You don't think those two eloped, do you?" Hotaru suggested.

Ruka felt the sweat coming. Of all the things Hotaru came up with, why did it have to be that?

"Elope?! S-Stop saying impossible things! Natsume will never-----"

"Look, we won't find those two this way." Yuu cut in, stepping between Ruka and Hotaru in an attempt to mediate them.

Giddy and lively music erupted from the huge speakers just beside the mini stage, which made them turn towards the cult of excited children. The children whooped and clapped as Narumi bent down and announced, "Are you ready kids? The puppet show begins now!"

He rested a hand on top of Youichi's head and winked.

Youichi looked up, eyes arched curiously. "Ah."

"Well, I guess those two will miss the show after all. Let's just watch this." Hotaru said, grabbing the hands of her two companions. She pulled them towards the back of the assembled children, right beside Narumi who welcomed them with a beam.

"Okay…" Ruka uttered hesitantly. Natsume usually informed Ruka of his whereabouts, and it was very unlike his best friend to vanish into thin air without telling him. Turning to Hotaru, he thought she must be feeling the same way. How insensitive could he be to complain? Her best friend was missing too, putting them in the same situation. She must have been thinking that they might as well make the most of the show ---- even without their missing friends.

_I'm sure those two are having fun. _

He drew a long breath and exhaled the worries away. He turned towards the stage, and watched just in time as the small drapes parted.

Everyone watched as a pink sock-puppet with eyes attached to its knuckles, and a red ribbon tied around its neck, suddenly popped out from below.

It moved its head in circles, and what looked like a mouth opened and closed while facing a phony moon glued at the forest evening background. It whirled around until the back faced the audience, and everyone was left staring at the mop of yellow yarn glued to its head.

-----------------

"Oh Romeo, oh Romeo! Where art thou my Romeo Sock?!"

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A second sock-puppet, this time a blue one with its eyes looking like its angry, slowly emerged beside the pink sock-puppet.

The pink sock-puppet continued its drama.

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"Deny thy father and refuse thy name!

Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,

And I'll no longer be a….uh…a _Capsule_!"

-----------------

The mouth of the blue sock-puppet tightened, and it moved its head side to side in disbelief. It glanced at the whining pink sock and to everybody's shock, opened its mouth ---- which made the outline of the hand that controlled it distinguishable ---- and slapped the pink sock viciously.

"Ouch!" the pink sock cried.

"Art thou supposed to be on top of thy balcony, stupid Juliet sock?" the blue sock scolded, flinging its head in the direction of a carton balcony propped at the left side the stage, just a few inches beside the Juliet sock.

Everybody looked at the pink sock expectantly, which suddenly went rigid.

"Oops! Sorry!" it mouthed.

Squeals of laughter followed as the pink sock vanished from sight and reappeared at the balcony hesitantly. The Romeo Sock bowed and looked up at the balcony, and afterwards it faced the audience. The laughter died down to a couple of high-pitched giggles.

"Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?" it said, practically growling the line.

The Juliet sock-puppet started bobbing up and down while mouthing its reply; and the spectators could clearly see part of an arm reveal itself.

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"Tis but thy name that is my enemy;  
Thou art thyself, though not a _Mountain_.  
What's _Mountain_? It is nor hand, nor foot,  
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other _fart _belonging to a sock." 

-----------------

Ruka raised a brow and turned to Hotaru. "Is this supposed to be a parody?"

Hotaru shrugged, wrinkling her nose. "I don't know. But that pink Juliet puppet really sucks."

"Yeah." he nodded.

An awkward silence grew and the two listened to the griping Juliet puppet once more.

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"O, be some other name!  
What's in a name? That which we call a _nose_  
By any other name would smell as _sweat_;  
So Romeo Sock, would, _werewolf_ he not Romeo _cold_,  
Retain that dear _perversion_ which he owes  
Without that title. Romeo Sock, doff thy name,  
And for that name which is no part of thee  
Take all of me!"

-----------------

The Romeo sock-puppet was eerily quiet, and some of the audience unconsciously leaned forward waiting for a reaction.

It stared at the Juliet sock and finally spoke.

-----------------

"Oi, I can see thy panty. 'Tis…when did thy start wearing lace?"

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"What?! YOU PERVERT!!!!!!!" the Juliet sock cried. It plunged downwards and vanished.

"Stop it, lace-pantied girl!"

"You dirty-minded cow!!!"

"HEY!"

The whole stage shook violently, and a series of banging noise and muffled shouts mobbed the air. The fake moon fell and tumbled towards the audience, stopping in front of Youichi who clutched it between his hands. The Romeo sock had instantly vanished, and would occasionally pop in and out, and it desperately tried to grasp the wooden frame of the stage.

The moment the hand that wore the blue puppet-sock gripped the plank, everything dismantled.

Hotaru, Ruka, Yuu, and Narumi rushed and gathered the panicking children quickly in order to avoid being hit by the crumbling stage. Everybody watched awestruck as the whole set-up collapsed right before their eyes. Smoke congested their eyesight, and some of the kids started coughing. When the fog of dust cleared, simultaneous gasps escaped from their mouths.

Ruka and Hotaru, in particular, had their mouths dropped open ---- because right there at the center of the rubble were the lumps of their missing best friends, Natsume and Mikan. The former had the Romeo sock-puppet on his left hand, while the latter wore the Juliet sock-puppet on her right.

But that wasn't the reason why they were gawking so openly.

"Ugh…" the two mumbled at the same time.

Mikan opened an eye and saw that everybody was gaping. Lying face up, her head was spinning uncontrollably. She closed her eyes and waited a few more seconds before opening them again. She felt a stir at the lower half of her body. She propped herself up with her elbows, squinting at the moving blur below. Something soft hit her head.

When her vision returned to normal, she realized why everybody looked extremely horrified.

Natsume groaned and rubbed his scalp as he slowly lifted his head. The first sight that greeted him was a canvas of lace just a few centimeters from his nose. A pair of legs was sticking out from beneath him.

_Shit. _

As the situation weighed on him, Natsume slowly shifted, bent his head upside down, and saw a pair of scandalized olive eyes.

"…"

"OHHHHH MYYYY GOOOOOOOOD!!!"

Mikan had screamed so loud that everybody within audible range had to cover their ears. Her whole body went stiff and the witnesses could practically see the whole surface area of her body turn red.

Right between her open legs was Natsume who was slightly bent forward, his fingers had spread all over her hips, and his face was dipped generously between her pale white thighs. It basically looked like he was sipping passionately from a large bowl of soup.

"Oh-ho!" Narumi hooted, his eyes twinkling.

Natsume quickly shifted to a sitting position, while Mikan scrambled putting as much distance as she can from him; both snapped their heads away from each other. His cheeks were extremely flushed despite his calmness. Mikan knelt and squeezed her legs together with her clenched hands pressing against her bare lap, looking extremely embarrassed.

Natsume's fire-alice can hardly be compared to the heat shooting through their bodies and neither can Mikan's alice cancel what just happened.

As if on cue both glimpsed at each other. Upon locking gazes, both blushed furiously. An inept atmosphere multiplied between them, and the silence was more than Mikan can handle.

"Darn you Natsume! You took away my chastity!!" she bawled, pointing an accusing finger at the bewildered boy.

Natsume looked away, his cheeks still as red as cherries.

"You should have listened when I told you to wear shorts." he replied curtly. His seemingly unfazed manner pushed Mikan to the edge of her patience.

"Be a man and take responsibility you moron!"

"Idiot! Don't say that!"

"CAD! CREEP! Because of you I'm no longer a virgin!"

"I have no interest in your virginity, stupid."

The couple continued to argue, oblivious to the confused little toddlers listening to them.

Yuu instinctively covered his mouth.

"Oh my…those two…" he uttered, glancing at the pile of immobile girls forming a miniature mountain, and he identified one of them as Sumire from the distinctive curls. It seemed all the members of the Natsume and Ruka fansclub have all fainted and have all temporarily gone to the next life.

Hotaru instantly pulled out her camera and started clicking away. She also took the opportunity to take pictures of Ruka, who seemed speechless at that very moment, and the beads of sweat journeying to his chin was unmistakable. She grinned widely and congratulated herself for saving all of her film that day.

"Ruka. Smile!"

Ruka blinked. "Huh? What…" was his slurry whimper, turning to Hotaru.

A bright light flashed, and this brought him back to reality.

"IMAI! DARN IT!"

"Oooh…this is gonna sell real good. Bye Ruka."

Without another word, she hopped on to her flying duck-mobile and zoomed off with an outraged Ruka at her tail.

"IMAI! COME BACK HERE!"

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The bus will be departing in a few minutes.

Ruka relaxed on his seat, watching his classmates squirm in the aisle. Beside him, Natsume sat quietly reading his _manga_.

Their trip to Central town had come to an unexpected turn of events. He recalled the intimate spectacle of his best friend and Mikan that afternoon ---- it was too much to bear. He wanted to ask Natsume about it, but his mind would go blank each time he attempted to.

He stiffened when he realized his best friend was eyeing him. Ruka cursed himself. He must have been staring too long.

"Ruka? Is something the matter?"

Ruka avoided his gaze, staring at his nails morosely.

"Um…nothing."

Natsume knew something was up, so he dropped the comic on his lap, and confronted Ruka.

"Hey."

"Yeah, what is it Natsume?"

"Did you buy something for Youichi?"

Ruka looked confused for a moment. "No. Why would I…"

"I see."

Ruka recognized what Natsume was getting at. "Oh…that. You knew?"

"You didn't have anything to do when Mikan asked you, did you?"

"Yeah…"

"So you're the one who told her to ask me."

"Yeah…"

"You knew it's a puppet show?"

"Well, yeah. I figured you might like hanging out with her."

The silence that followed mollified all the tension earlier, and Ruka finally found the courage to ask the question he had in mind.

"It was an accident, right?"

"What else can it be?" Natsume answered frankly, crossing his arms and leaning back on his seat. "Don't be silly."

Ruka felt the load in his chest slowly dissolve. "You surprised me back there, Natsume." he chuckled.

"Ruka."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." Natsume said, smiling a little. It disappeared as soon as it came, but the image stuck to Ruka.

He had seen his best friend smile many times, but that tiny smile Natsume showed him was different somehow. He thought playing the matchmaker for one day was enough, perhaps the last, especially after feeling that tug of jealousy creep all over his bones when he saw the suggestive scene between his best friend and the girl he likes.

But after he saw the effect on Natsume, and how happy it made him ---- maybe it's not so bad after all.

A smile tugged on his lips.

He can make sacrifices every now and then.

"Anytime, Romeo."

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**The End. **

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**End Notes: **I hope N x M supporters would love Ruka more, and maybe consider him with Mikan at least, while he still likes her (waves "I love Ruka" flag). But anyway, you guys be the judge….I understand coz' I'm a N x M fangirl myself. XD Just a small call from a neurotic fanfic author like me.


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